Whatever the time dictates probably

 Ive felt a bit lost this week. I cant decide what is worth worrying about. Its a kind of mental Schrodinger's Cat situation. Waiting for blood test results had my mind a bit worried, even though there was no evidence that I should be worried, but then again until I received the results how could I rule anything out ? 

I think the lean towards the darkness of the shortest days has upset my perceptions. I have thoughts that wander and jolt or jump back to the every day things,  but those thoughts seem as equally important as the everyday stuff I do. . 

I dreamed of a witch last night who came very close to my face. She was trapped in a wood with a starry sky that was contained in a fold up book with pop up pictures. I felt an empathy for her. Why was she trapped ?  

As the body gets weaker the mind gets way more creative. Maybe thats why fasting is popular in religion ?  There is no choice but to pass through this shortest day and out the other side. No one can avoid it. That sounds scary and profound.

The above remix is as dark as hell.

Freedom brings anxiouty

 There is male Blackbird that recently spent 2 weeks attacking its own reflection in one of our house windows. Thud...thud...thud. It is in peak condition. It has bred and now just has nothing to do, apart from survive the winter. Its probably bored as well. Our garden is its territory. Its a very good territory. Its a very lucky bird. 

Im sure I will shake this off soon but...

 Im suddenly feeling morose. A fortnight ago was my aunties funeral, and last weekend we went to visit a care home to see my Wifes granddad who is 96. Unfortunately  I thought he was looking on his last legs, which this week has proved to be an accurate observation. My daughter was understandably upset and I didnt expect him to be that far gone. I didnt want her to see that. It looks like we will have another funeral before Christmas.

I am also awaiting a blood test result. Its a routine one, but because of the medication im on and my age, the risk of me developing this condition is higher. I will be glad when the results come as im getting nervous. It doesnt help when my Dad also has this condition though it will never be a threat to him such is his old age. Yes, that sounds grim as well.

Its dark and stormy and the thoughts of my demise  one day and that of others all seems very vivid to me at the moment. There is a lot of death ahead.

I told you I dont like December.

As above so below ? No pun intended ?

 I am linked to my fish. When I had very sensitive hearing one of my fish visibly jumped when I snapped the fish food lid shut. When I got better it stopped.

Now one has swim bladder trouble caused by constipation and yes you can work out the rest...lol